Found a really old blog of mine (I was 14 years old at the time!!!!) and I must admit looking back is pretty melancholic if not least nostalgic. When I was 14 the whole world seemed marvelous and I had it all so clear in my mind that 'this is where I was going', and 'this is who I'm going to be'. I thought I had it all so clearly laid out but of course life changes and you just got to roll with the punches but also accept that as a person, you change too.
For example, I honestly think the past 12 months have been the most challenging, yet most important months of my life. I've learnt so much about the world, people and myself as a person, but most recently I've started to learn about the person I'm becoming and it's not forced or fake, it is simply a transition as a part of the wake up call- that you can't live your life as a huge asshole depending on only yourself but equally you can't rely on everyone else to pick up the pieces for you. It's trying to find the equilibrium and it's tough. Finding out who you are, where you belong or where you are heading is not a straight forward process- if there is ever even an end to it, because we are constantly shaped by our surroundings and the environments in which we are in, therefore we are constantly adapting- no matter where we think we are heading or what we envision ourselves doing, seldom happens and it doesn't mean we've failed, rather we're just heading forward in the direction we are supposed to be going to.Never regret that or look back on it- the past is like a photograph- frozen in time and it lives on in our memories; nothing we do in the present or the future will ever alter the fact it happened, instead we can take the past and build on it- learn from it and grow from it. Let it be the seeds for our blossoming, no matter how ugly the past may have been- like the caterpillar which becomes the butterfly, break out of the cocoon of your past and fly away into a new horizon.
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